Saturday, March 28, 2009

Let’s Trade Obama to Another Team - Like in Baseball

Bush: We didn’t like what he was doing!

Obama: He doesn’t know what he is doing!

I have been getting notes from readers saying “What about Bush? Why aren’t you holding his feet to the fire for what’s going on here?” And you’re right. George Bush (except for his stand against terror, and appointing Alito and Roberts to the Supreme Court) was a disaster, and greatly responsible for the trouble we’re in today. He was a fiscal socialist… deficit spending to the point that he started to make Clinton look like a conservative!

I voted twice for George Bush. The first time with great anticipation, the second time with great trepidation, as I realized his opponent, the haughty John Kerry, would be worse.

As a conservative, I opposed the Dubai Ports deal, the lack of effort toward closing our borders, the push for amnesty, and many other Bush policies. The damage has been done, and the way prepared for the Obama socialist agenda, which is far more comprehensive and frightening for those of us who are still capitalists.
So, enough Bush bashing from the left and the right. We all understand that his policies, and the tremendous public backlash, created the perfect storm which gave us Obama. There, I said it… I hope you’re all happy now about my public acknowledgement!

Now, let’s get on with the business at hand, which is stopping Obama. He has managed in just 50 days, to outspend all the other Presidents’ combined! And that’s with adding George Bush’s wild spending into the totals!

As I write this on Sat. March 14, both French President Nicolas Sarkozy and German Chancellor Angela Merkel rejected Obama’s Global Stimulus plan out of hand. They probably told Obama secretly, “You only get to destroy the economy of YOUR country… not ours.”

In addition, at a joint press conference with Sarkozy, Ms. Merkel said: ”The issue is not spending even more but to put in place a regulatory system to prevent the economic catastrophe that the world is experiencing from being repeated.”

As for conservative Angela Merkel… well, I wish we were more like a baseball team… we could acquire her in exchange for Obama and two Liberal players to be named later.

Let’s Bring the Obama Plan for America to Basketball

It’s time to try the Obama plan on a smaller scale, and assess the results. Larry At Large suggests we concentrate on Los Angeles for starters.

We have a team there called the Lakers. They have been winning for a very long time, are well coached and disciplined, and therefore must be punished. I suggest we start with affirmative action.

For too long white players have been held down by more talented black players, so I suggest we have a mandatory 33% white player rule. This way we can enable less talented white players to have a fair chance to play and raise their self esteem, while replacing their more talented black counterparts. This affirmative action will work to dilute the level of play, and make the Lakers more competitive with the rest of the league (pretty much like what we’ve done to the country on the whole). Now, those cast-aside black players will be angry, but they’ll learn it’s all for the common good.

As far as the other team in L.A., the Clippers… these are the have-nots of basketball. This is a team that season after season cannot win. They are mismanaged, don’t play well, have lesser quality players, and in general, a poor front office. This is just the kind of team that needs to be rewarded with a helping hand. Some possible areas of help: give them a ten point start over their opponents. Another idea: lowering the bar… I mean the hoop, therefore making their shots just a little easier.

As any good liberal will tell you, it’s not important who wins the game, but that both sides feel a sense of self-worth and esteem. We just want the teams to have the chance to compete on an equal playing field, or court in this case.

I know what you’re thinking… it will destroy the game as we know it, but isn’t it all worth it? We’d be helping those players less fortunate, while experiencing an overwhelming sense of fairness and smug satisfaction. Who knows, it might help assuage that horrible sense of guilt.